My professional career has been dominated by Values Clarification. It is so woven into the tapestry of my work that I tap into it for every Workshop and Seminar and Class I've ever led.

In March, in Cincinnati, I will be conducting a Workshop that is called "OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR ANGER."

Well, to pique your interest, for starters: What is YOUR relationship with anger? How was anger handled in your family of origin? How do you deal with it when it comes at you? If I were to interview the people in your life, what would they say about how you dish out your anger?

I am convinced that Anger is a Choice. It's not bad, and it's not good. It is one complicated issue. The experts are not all in agreement. And there are myths surrounding it that could curl your hair.

But, one thing is clear: ANGER is something we have to CHOOSE.

What do you feel when I mention the word CHOOSE? How do you respond when I argue, coming from a values clarification perspective, that values must be chosen to be called values. You can't give them to people. (Oh, you can moralize them, but if we are to make values our own, we must get involved in CHOOSING.) Values also demand that we PRIZE what we choose. And, finally, that we ACT on what it is we have arrived at from a process of prizing, cherishing and choosing (after carefully examining the consequences, etc.) In the ANGER WORKSHOP we will learn the Values Clarification theory up close and up tight.

This problem of the choices we make in our lives comes up daily. Here is an example I like talking about. It grew out of a recent workshop I did at the Yankee Dental Congress in Boston in late January

For one exercise, I began it by talking about "Choices." I stressed how important choosing is to a Value. I raised an issue with them that is laden with choices. Here's how it began.

"How many of the women in this group have had a Pap Test this year?" I asked. Hands raised. "Good for you," I said. "And how many of you men have had a prostate test this year?" There was laughter. I said, "I'm an equal gender values man. And we won't argue about which is harder to deal with, cold stirrups or a rubber glove. I just tip my hat off to all of us who have faced wanting to have advanced information about any impending cancer in the areas those tests were designed for."

We gave a round of applause to all the noble searchers.

Then, I said, "Now, what do you think of the woman who comes out of her pap test, and the minute she's outside, lights up a cigarette? What choice has she made? Is she saying, 'I'm careful about cancer below the waist, but above the crotch, I don't care." There was laughter, but it was slightly strained. The smokers weren't laughing.

"Ok, so a guy comes out from his prostate test, and doesn't smoke, but when he gets to his car, he doesn't even think about wearing a seat belt. What is that choice about? Or is it a non choice?"

"But, what if neither one of them smokes, and they wear seat belts, but both of them rush towards the Dunkin' Donut store and tank up there?"

"Or dinner that night is diet pepsi and a Pop Tart? Or before they hop on their bicycles to go to the 7-11 to pick up the Diet Pepsi, they don't want to get helmet-hair so they don't wear a helmet, despite what the research says."

It comes down to values. It ends up with wondering just how much we value life, and whether or not we're willing to choose what is necessary to reach for life or whether we end up choosing the systematic suicide this media-hustled society seems to be leading us towards in more and more abundance."

Point made. I hope, point taken. WE need to value what we do and do what we value. This is true about what goes into our mouth and also what comes out of our mouth.

The workshoppers in Cincinnati will take hard some looks at the anger that comes out of our mouths. Even more, we will explore the choices available to us. We will see what alternatives the Anger Experts present. Ultimately, I hope we will all make some choices of what we want to change, and then find ways to teach what we learned to those people in our lives, the ones who matter, the ones who get our anger. We won't forget the people who send their anger to us, either.

March 22nd is the date for the: OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR ANGER workshop. The next day, Saturday the 23rd, a second workshop will explore the tools it takes to build a viable CONNECTEDNESS NETWORK.

I hope you'll choose to be in Cincy on those two days.

Contact Sarah Elliston at (513) 533-0427.

Since the audience was made of dentists, dental assistants and hygienists, I ended with: "I hope every person who goes for a pap test or a prostate test also flosses every single night. There's a choice I value." I flashed my best smile at that moment. They flashed their white teeth back at me, and I chose to see that there were no cavities.

Dr. Sidney B. Simon